The X-ploitation Factor 2010: Live Shows Episode 3.2

It’s all laughs for now but hmm what about in a few weeks time!!

I am wrong, and Paije survives the “bottom two” stigma for another week. On the plus side, I put a last minute bet on John to go and made a profit.

I found Saturday night’s show the most enjoyable edition so far. The contestants were given some slightly less clichéd song choices – ironic, then, that these should be given to them in guilty pleasures week. I also now have a favourite contestant, along with every other straight female in the country.

The Run Down

Paije – well, I thought he was almost guaranteed to be in the bottom two, and last night proved me wrong. It doesn’t matter how talented he is, though. They shook off John eventually and Paije is next on the list.

Matt – Very enjoyable performance on Saturday and he was soon favourite to win again.

Aiden – Popularity is evidently slipping, but I think he’s still one of the bosses’ favourites. He has that weird quality that repels women in real life but on a celebrity is attractive for some reason. When I say he has it, they’ve thrust it upon him.

Mary – To keep her spot on the show interesting they need to throw something different at her. There’s usually no such thing as peaking too early, but evidently there is on this kind of show. In order to maximise her potential, they should’ve left the big belters for later. Then again, as soon as the audience sees her as a one tricky pony she’s easy to get rid of, and no one will be complaining to Ofcom.

John – self-explanatory, but I hope the most talented person in the competition goes on to bigger and better things. ‘Blessing’ and ‘disguise’ spring to mind.

Wagner – I’m happy for him to stay in, just to hear his name boomed out every week by Peter Dickson’s distinctive voice. Just how much longer he’ll be there, though, I don’t know – the novelty will wear off soon enough.

One Direction – my, aren’t they terrible? With no talent, there’s no way they’ll win, right? Oh…

Belle Amie – evidently, the ‘kicked puppy’ trick worked.

Cher – no change there.

Rebecca – after Saturday’s performance it’s evident, now, that she’s a Chosen One. Why not, anyway? Very sweet and very talented.

TreyC – maybe people would vote for you if you didn’t spell your name that way.

Katie – oh God, where to start? Her performance on Saturday made me cringe from start to finish. For a massive Disney fan it was torturous seeing it handed to my least favourite contestant. Here’s the essay…

The Jungle Book is an overrated Disney film. It lacks magic and charm, and the only really good character is Baloo. However, it’s pretty funky and, obviously, contains good songs. “I wanna be like you” is the real stand-out of those songs. Why is it so good? Because it’s crazy. It finishes with Baloo and King Louie singing complete nonsense lines to one another, and it never fails to put a smile on my face. Those complete nonsense lines were improvised by Phil Harris and Louis Prima when they recorded it – an excellent touch.

In Katie’s performance of it, it was trying to show her as a ‘different’ artist because she’s singing music from a children’s film and coolifying it. Wasn’t it so wonderful and quirky? I’m not saying she didn’t carry off the performance well, but it was a condensed version of the song to make people think ‘OMG the girl can do Disney, she MUST be good after all’ when she’d not been given the very resources that make that song what it is, and I very much doubt she even realises why that song is so good.

I’ve also recently made this song into a duet version of the UltraStar Challenge Mod, I’d like to see her do that.

Oh dear, I’ve become everything that I hate. The song is intact, no one has ruined it, and Katie is still not going to win. Chill out Kokairu.

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